Slogan tees you'll actually want to wear.

The slogans

In English

I'm not rude. I'm honest. Sorry.

For people who say what they think.

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I have patience. Just not for you.

Patience, selectively.

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Sarcasm: my love language.

For the fluent in sarcasm.

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If you can read this, you're too close.

Personal space, please.

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Unsolicited opinions: return to sender.

For people tired of advice.

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I'll think about it. (I won't)

The most honest answer.

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Survived the kids. I deserve wine.

For surviving parents.

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Here for the presents. Family is a bonus.

For family Christmas.

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Dear Santa, I can explain.

For the not-so-nice list.

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Sarcastic (in Portuguese)

Tenho paciência. Só não é para ti.

For people out of patience.

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Sorrio porque não posso bater em ninguém.

The most honest smile in the office.

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Não estou a ignorar-te. Estou a dar prioridade.

For people who prioritise.

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Não sou teimosa. Tenho sempre razão.

For the one who is always right.

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Se estás a ler isto, estás demasiado perto.

Personal space, as a tee.

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Sou uma pessoa matinal. Mentira.

For the not-a-morning-person.

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O meu signo é "deixa-me em paz".

The most common Monday star sign.

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Salário baixo, sarcasmo alto.

For the funniest colleague.

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Family and pets

Sobrevivi aos filhos. Mereço um vinho.

For surviving parents.

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Dou conselhos. Ninguém os segue.

For the parent nobody listens to.

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Mãe de patudos.

For dog mums.

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Os gatos mandam. Eu só pago.

Cat people know who is in charge.

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Avó é uma mãe com açúcar.

The sweetest gift for grandma.

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Pai. O original.

There are many, this is the original.

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Primeiro o café, depois o mundo.

For people who need coffee first.

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Sport

Vim pelo lanche.

For those who go to the gym for the snacks.

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Hoje é dia de perna. Amanhã é dia de coxear.

The official leg day tee.

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Corro, logo existo. Devagar.

For people who run, slowly.

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Padel primeiro, perguntas depois.

For the padel addict.

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Christmas

Não é o vinho. É o espírito natalício.

For the merriest Christmas Eve.

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Mais bolo-rei, menos dramas.

The Christmas dinner motto.

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Vim pelas filhoses.

The most honest Christmas Eve tee.

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Na lista dos bem comportados. Quase.

For those still hoping for presents.

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See the full collection →

How it works

Click a slogan to see every item it comes on. Pick the item (tee, sweatshirt, top or mug), the colour and the size. Spreadshirt prints and ships it. Order by mid December to get it before Christmas.